Who am I 

momma says:

i have a ring on my right hand that’s faded and bronzed that says BITCH. 

Mitch says:

Well I think you are a self motivating person because you are able to tell yourself to sit and write your own books and you already know where you want to live and even though its an expensive house you kind of have a plan to get there but your also able to trust that you will figure it out your also just a fun person to be around and you good at instructing because you taught me solitaire  

NybEe says:

You are the person who if they have someone in their life that they care about. You will be there for them. You are someone who is strong and can take care on yourself. You make people feel like they belong and can be themself.  
And Brock says:

You are a very sporadic person who can be very understanding, you have high happy energy you tend to do what you can to help others but don’t spend too much time helping yourself, you put yourself out for others to reach out for help but the way you help others is all over the place but it works  

I say:

I’m super self conscious (even if I don’t show it) 

I love makeup

I’m Irish and easily addicted to stuff

I can pop every joint in my hands

I’m going to have a tattoo before this semester ends

I LOVE DISNEY 

ballroom dancing is fun

I’m writing a book

I have a huge vocabulary but I swear more than I eat

I’m super quiet all the time but not because I’m angry (even though I get really quiet when I’m angry) 

I worked black friday so I’m super tired and my next day off is Tuesday and I just want to sleep 

I have a headache and now I’m rambling so yeah. If you want to ask me questions go ahead. I might consider answering them

Fire

My fire, my passion has always been writing. Not poems, but stories. 
I’ve had this idea brewing in the back of my brain for a few days, I’m definitely planning on expanding it.

Once there was a girl named Elizabeth. She had long blonde hair and eyes that glowed whenever she smiled. She went by the name Ella. Ellas family was perfect, it was just her and her mother and father but it couldn’t be better. 

When Ella was young her mother got sick. The sickness didn’t strike her right away but over several long years she got weaker and weaker until she couldn’t walk anymore. Ella stayed by her mothers bedside through all those years, wishing for her to get better and knowing that no matter what the doctors did she could never be saved. 

Eventually, Ellas mother died, leaving her alone and her father a widower. During the years after, Ella grew closer with her father as she realized that family was the most important thing. 

Many years later, Ellas father remarried. She was a beautiful woman whose temperament could be compared to a bull’s. This one woman had two daughters, both beautiful and both incredibly stupid, neither could tell a doormat from a washcloth. 

Ella was disappointed at her new family, she wished her family would grow as close as she had once been with her mother and father but after a few days she realized she would never be. 

The wedding had passed and people had stopped coming by to give congratulations and presents when Ellas father took ill, just as suddenly as her mother did. It seemed to take him faster than her mother, because within a year he was dead. 

Stricken with grief, Ella locked herself away, never eating and barely sleeping. She stayed there, growing weaker and paler her eyes slowly blackening from the lack of sleep. Exiting her room for the first time in weeks she was scorned and laughed at for her appearance, earning the name Cinderella from her stepmother and horrid stepsisters. 

But as time grew on she got better. She began eating again and leaving her room. She cleaned the house (no one else knew how) and baked food. She hardly spoke a word to her step family but always listened in to their conversations, and one day she learned about a ball coming up. She knew she wouldn’t go but it would be nice to have the house to her self. 

The night of the ball she sat alone outside her home, breathing in the cool night air. Suddenly she saw a small glow around the corner before watching a woman wander  around the corner, her eyes searching for something. Finally they landed on Cinderellas frail figure, slouched in a chair on the porch. 

“What are you doing child?” The woman asked. “Shouldn’t you be at the ball?”

“Who are you?” Cinderella asked. 

“Oh, I am your afisry godmother dear,” she answered. “I am here to grant you one wish.”

Cinderella sat up in her seat, her interest peaked. “Any wish?” She whispered cautiously. 

“Oh yes, any wish,” the fairy godmother responded. “Anything you want can be yours,” she added, motioning toward the castle. 

Cinderella paused for a moment. She already knew what to wish for. 

“I wish my mother had never died.”

My week

Over the course of this week Ive been strangely irritated at every little thing. If someone’s breathing to much I want to smack them and tell them to stop. If someone’s moving under the blanket to much theyre awful human beings. My clothes are to tight or to loose, my socks keep falling off deep in my shoe, I’m not drinking nearly enough water, my ears are ringing constantly and I’m always cold. I keep waking up at night and I won’t fall asleep for two hours afterward, and even my stomach is rioting against me.  This week has been terrible for my body. 

But at the same time it’s been really good. I’ve cut out toxic people and got closer with the new. My room is clean, I’m driving again, I’ve got a new associate at work who brought in red bull and donuts. And my puppy sleeps next to me every night and reminds me in the morning that I am loved and needed. 

This week has been hellish and crazy, I definitely wouldn’t relive it but I know I wouldn’t be the same without it. 

Fall

Fall has always been my favorite season. It’s full of colors and warmth. Its beautiful. Watching the dry leaves fall onto the ground and feeling them crunch under your feet is the most satisfying thing. The smell of the rain before and after the storm brings back memories of dancing in the street, completely drenched and freezing. 

Fall also means Halloween. That wonderful time of year time you can pretend that you’re someone else.  Wearing a mask or hiding behind the face paint makes us feel silly and childish and somewjat vulnerable. 

After the fall is over Christmas comes. No, not winter, Christmas. Stores are already selling Christmas trees and decorations. People are already talking about what they want to Christmas and what their plans are during Christmas break. The snow silently falls over us at night, like a big white blanket laying over every house, every tree and every car. I love staring out the window at the snow as it falls. There’s something surreal about the silence the snow brings. Nothing compares to the first snow. That fluffy blanket that freezes us. 

Today was my last day

My last day pretending to be young

My last day coloring outside the lines

The last day I can spend my money on whatever I want

I’m an official adult tomorrow which scares me for some odd reason. I’m not ready to grow up yet, there was never enough time as a kid. I want to be a kid forever, just like Peter Pan. I don’t want to find a job that I will hate in a few years, I don’t want to worry about taxes and putting my kids through school. I don’t want to live all alone… 

But at the same time I’m excited to grow up. Ive got a plan for the rest of my life. I’m saving money and going to college, Ive got a stable place to live when I decide to move and when I finally do move I can have as many cats and dogs that I want (everyone in my family is allergic to cats but  me).  I’m almost officially 18 and grown up. My childhood is gone, much like the color dandelion, but thats ok. I’m excited to see what life has in store for me.